Thursday, February 20, 2014
I never used to be a dog person. In fact, I couldn't really understand how people could love dogs so much. It's not that I didn't like them; I did. I just found them a bit slobbery and stinky.
And then one day my dad bought a puppy. The cutest ball of fluff you ever did see, and it was love at first sight. She grew up to be the sweetest, funniest, most adventurous and smartest dog around. I didn't care that she was slobbery and a bit stinky; she was ours and we loved her.
Scout was my dad's dog but my mom, my brother and I took care of her a fair bit. I used to take her rock climbing with me and she would hang out at the bottom of the cliff until occasionally you would look up and see her at the top of the climb. She hated to be apart from her people so if she could, she would dart up to make sure everyone was safe. Her herding instinct never went away.
I really don't think it's an exaggeration to say that Scout changed my life, for the better. When I realised how much I could love an animal, it made me want to stop eating other animals. I would look into her big brown eyes and think, "if I'm not prepared to eat her, then I shouldn't be able to eat any other animal either." I still don't.
Mostly she taught me just how clever and amazing animals really are. Fiercely loyal, she loved my whole family but my dad best of all. When he went away she was never quite herself, until he would come back and she would get so excited she would pee.
Following the car accident in Mexico, my dad looked for her but never found her. Searching for a lost dog in a Mexican city is like looking for a needle in a haystack. He's back at home now, without her. I can't even tell you how many tears have been shed in the process. The hardest part is the not knowing. There have been a couple of sightings so we know that she was alive, but now, who knows? I worry about her constantly, wondering if she has enough to eat, a safe place to sleep or if she is injured. Every day I hope that she is ok, and that someone has found her and is looking after her.
I'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that I probably won't see her again. I will miss her, always.
a letter to my dog / puppy fever