Manning Park

A few weeks ago, we spent a couple of nights in a cabin in the mountains with my dad, brother and his girlfriend. We started coming to Manning Park with my dad when we were kids; it's where I learned to snowboard and the scene of many happy memories. After not visiting for so long, it was a real treat to go back and see that not much has changed.

My dad calls it the "anti-Whistler" and he's spot on. It's not trendy or fancy in any way, but the resort has everything you need and a rustic charm that can't be ignored. More importantly, it's breathtakingly beautiful at this time of year. I felt like I was in a postcard and despite the frigid temperatures, I kept trekking back outside to take photos.

Clementine, however, was less than impressed with all the snow. We've learned on this trip that she is definitely not a winter baby. It snowed in Vancouver shortly after we arrived, and when we finally convinced her to get out of her stroller, she leaned over, touched the snow and exclaimed dramatically, "NO, NO, NO, NO." So you can imagine what she thought of Manning Park… She seemed to be getting the hang of it all by the third (and last day), but I think she was happy to get back to the milder weather of Vancouver.

the cost of children

We have this neighbour who adores Clementine. Whenever he sees her, he grabs her, plays peekaboo, throws her up in the air, cuddles her and she just loves it. Yesterday he saw us coming in and came over to help. While he was goofing around with the little one, his friend said to him, "You know you can have one of these, right?" To which our neighbour replied, "Nah, I want a big house and a nice car before we have a baby."

If I had a penny for every time I heard something similar! One of my husband's friends said that he wouldn't have a baby until he had x amount of money in the bank, and it was a large sum. So many people seem to let money hold them back from starting a family, and I can't understand it. It's not as if the baby is going to bust out of your womb demanding to see your latest bank statement or requesting an SUV to be chauffeured around in.

Now, I'm not completely naive. I live in one of the world's most unaffordable cities; I know that money is important, I just don't think it's the most important. When my parents had me, they didn't have much. We lived in Cartagena where they worked as English teachers and tour guides. They certainly didn't let money, or lack thereof, stop them from having a baby and they didn't let having a baby stop them from living an adventurous life. Similarly, my husband and I happily had a baby while living in a funky little apartment, knowing that we still wanted to travel, and not being sure where we would end up living.

I've noticed that here in Sydney in particular, people are obsessed with home ownership and private school. It's something my husband and I have talked about at length, but I still don't get. Where I grew up in Vancouver, everyone went to public school, even the rich kids. If we waited until the day we could buy a house in Sydney and afford to pay private school tuition for two kids, we would miss our chance to have children. No exaggeration.

When you start talking about the cost of raising children, all sorts of figures get thrown around. Again, we're not immune to this and the fact that we're a bi-cultural family puts a big strain on us. We know that two children will most likely be our maximum as we need to be able to travel back and forth between Canada and Australia. But, I think that having a baby doesn't need to be the huge financial drain that everyone says it is. Most of the big tickets items we needed for Clementine (e.g. bassinet, stroller, crib, playpen, carseat, swing etc) we bought used, borrowed from friends or received as gifts. I even wrote a post about it here. Cloth diapering has saved us a lot of money, as has breastfeeding.

Apart from travel, our lifestyle costs us less now that we have a baby. I hardly ever buy clothes anymore, and we rarely go out. We use our car far less than we used to because my husband cycles to work and I find life easier when I stay in our neighbourhood. We gratefully accept hand-me-downs and our social life revolves around visits to the park or the beach. I'm glad we had our daughter when we did, fancy house or not.

motherhood around the world

a photo from my very first trip to Australia, when I was your typical Canadian backpacker

Today I am so, so excited to be featured on one of my favourite blogs, A Cup of Jo. Joanna's lovely editor, Caroline, interviewed me about my experience of being a Canadian mother in Australia. When she sent over the first round of questions, I found myself writing an essay in response to each and every one. It was the first time I've ever sat down, reflected on and put into writing all of my thoughts on being an expat. I had so much to say, and I kept thinking, "I should write a book about this!" For now though, you can read my interview here.

And if you've found your way here via A Cup of Jo, welcome! I hope you can make yourself a cup of tea and stay a while.

p.s. As a disclaimer, I know that my experience does not speak for all expats in Australia, or even for all Canadian expats in Australia. I did my best to keep that in mind as I answered the questions, and also to keep in mind that while I have travelled throughout Australia, I have only ever lived in Sydney. 

how to deal with homesickness

I've been thinking a lot lately about being an expat (you'll understand why soon), and the inevitable homesickness that comes with living overseas. I had always loved to travel and had never actually felt homesick until I moved to Australia in 2009. Then, after having a baby here, I became even more homesick! I do, however, have some coping mechanisms and I thought I'd share them here today. If any of my fellow expats have other tips please share in the comments section.

Skype. This one is pretty obvious and is the main way I deal with missing my family and friends. I Skype with my mom at least 3 times a week, and honestly don't know what I'd do without it. Often we'll have Skype on while one of us is cooking or eating, and it makes it feel like we're just hanging out together and sharing a meal.

WhatsApp. One of my best friends just moved to Canada and we've been using WhatsApp to stay in touch. Just like when she lived here, we'll text each other bits and pieces throughout the day, normal things, like what we ate for lunch and photos of what we're up to. The casual nature of it makes it feel like she hasn't left. One of the things that makes me the saddest about living here, is that I feel like I've lost that close relationship with some of my best friends. We keep in touch but I know so little about their everyday life. Communicating every day, about the little things, really helps.

Maintain your traditions. Australians don't do Thanksgiving and Halloween has only recently been embraced, mostly by kids. One year we had a Halloween party, which mostly seemed to confuse our Australian friends, and was hilarious in its own way. I do make an effort each year to celebrate Thanksgiving though. Some years we've invited friends over and other times it has just been the two of us, eating stuffing and pumpkin pie, but I love it. One of my fellow Canadian yoga teaching friends and I were talking about doing a Thanksgiving yoga workshop followed by a feast this October, so stay tuned for that...

Have expat friends. This point was really driven home to me the other night. I was at a staff dinner where many of us are Canadians/Americans with Australian partners. We ended up having such a great heart to heart. It was so nice to connect with others who are in the exact same boat as me. We talked about our long term plans, missing our family, raising kids here and all kinds of other topics near and dear to us. Fair warning though, if you're a long term expat, make sure you also have friends who are from your new city. If your circle of friends is made up exclusively of other expats, you will never feel totally settled and you will be losing friends constantly (I know from experience).

Have a visit to look forward to. There was a stretch of 2.5 years where I didn't go home, and I didn't have a trip to look forward to. It was way too long! Even though our next visit to Vancouver is still 4 months away (and we booked our flights a couple of months ago), it makes such a difference to have a date in the calendar circled. Something to look forward to.

Don't expect everything to be the same at home. This is something I struggle with when I go home. There's a part of me that wants things to be just the same as when I left, but of course, they're not. My friends have new partners and jobs, businesses close and new ones take their place, and even my family moves and shifts. It's true that the only constant is change, and it's best to embrace it.

My next tips all fall under the same umbrella of immersing yourself:

Read. When I'm feeling homesick I like to re-read my favourite Canadian authors, like Douglas Coupland and L.M. Montgomery. I find the familiarity really soothing.

Watch. Watching movies and tv shows from Canada helps to quell the sadness that creeps in when I start to miss that good ol' Canadian accent. Earlier this year, I got hooked on Arctic Air. Sure, it's not the best show ever made but the Canadian accents and references made me happy and I was devastated that it was cancelled.

Listen. Every week I listen to my favourite podcast, The Vinyl Cafe, and it never fails to warm my heart. I also like to listen to CBC radio on my computer. I love hearing the news from Vancouver; it makes me feel like I'm still in touch.

Eat. Ok, so we don't really have a Canadian cuisine, per se, but we do have poutine. And maple syrup. And bloody caesars. And pumpkin pie. And enjoying them does me a world of good when I'm longing for Vancouver.

the pacific northwest

Last week we escaped to the Gulf Islands for one night. Between the ferries, endless hours of waiting and the bad weather, it didn't feel like much of an escape. When we got there the sky was dark and the rain was bucketing down. I was reminded though, that there is beauty in grey, green and dark blue. The colours of the pacific northwest.

It got me wondering if I can picture myself living in this part of the world again. I've gotten used to the saturated colours of Australia, and to seeing the sun for most of the year. It will be hard to give up, but the answer is yes. Someday, we want to move back here.

in which clementine meets everyone

One of the great joys of being here has been watching my friends and family meet Clementine. So far, she has met:

1. Mateo - my little brother, her uncle. He is hilarious with her; every time he's home when she is, he yells "selfie time!" and whips out his phone to take photos. The results are hysterical (this one is my favourite ever).

2. Abuela - Ok, so my mom has met Clementine already, but no one is happier to see her than she is!

3. Grandpa - my dad, her Canadian grandpa. It was pretty great to watch my dad sit and make funny noises for Clementine's amusement. She was quite taken with him.

4. Andrea - my friend from highschool. She gets 4 photos because C was so damn cute that day. Andrea's great with babies, the perfect aunt.

5. Rochelle - one of my mom's best friends, who I've always thought of as my aunt. Rochelle just adores Clementine and showered us with a bag filled with baby gifts!

6. Vanessa - we met way back when we were competitive gymnasts, and despite a rocky start, we became the best of friends. She's the person I originally travelled to Australia with, and the friend I was with when I first met my husband. Next year she's getting married and I'm a bridesmaid, can't wait!

7. Carol - Katrina's mom, and a close family friend. We've had two backyard meals at their house this week and it has been lovely.

8. Pierrette - one of my mom's oldest friends and another aunt like figure in my life. The first time she met Clementine, she was naked and peed all over Pierrette's skirt. Pierrette just laughed.

9. Katrina - my oldest friend. We met in kindergarten. It is just so great to watch people who I have known forever playing with my baby. It's the best.

old homes

 

The first weekend that we were here, we visited our family friend who lives in the historic part of New Wesminster. Today it's a suburb of Vancouver, but back in the day, it was actually BC's first capital. Vancouver is a fairly new city, and it can sometimes feel like it's lacking character. So it's such a nice treat to wander through the streets of New West and gaze at the heritage homes. The gardens are also a sight to behold, with their hydrangeas, roses and canopies formed by 100 year old trees.  A short drive from Vancouver, it's definitely worth a visit if you ever find yourself in this part of the world.

first beach trip

 

Yesterday we took Clementine to the beach for the first time. In the late afternoon, when the sun was still high, we drove to Jericho. She was asleep when we got there so we hid under the shade of a tree. When she woke up we set up on the sand, with an umbrella (not the beach kind) for shade. She actually seemed even happier than she is at home; I think she liked the sea breeze. This poor Aussie baby of ours doesn't enjoy the heat. This makes me scared for Australian summer later this year...

Anyway, we think she's too small to swim but my husband and I took turns dipping her toes in the water. She had the cutest puzzled look on her face the whole time. As for us, I'm sad to say that after living in Sydney for a few years I chickened out and deemed the water too cold to swim. I'll try harder next time.

home for the summer

 

Going home is such a nice feeling. My husband hasn't been here in a few years, and I haven't been here during the summertime for 5 years! And the best thing about this trip is that we have 2 whole months. Typically, the hardest part about visiting home as an expat is that you have so little time to squeeze everything in. There are so many thing we want to do while we're here - like swimming at the beach and hiking the Chief - and we can tick them off our list slowly but surely.

For now we're taking it easy while we recover from the flight and the accompanying jet lag. My mom lives in a perfect spot; it's central, close to the beach and easy to walk most places. Just perfect for us right now. So many more photos and stories to come...

31/52

"A portrait of my child, once a week, every week, in 2013."

Clementine: The first Canadian portrait, wearing a gorgeous dress that her grandma whipped up for her right before we left Sydney.

We're here! In Vancouver, that is. The weather is perfect, my family is close and I can see the mountains every which way I look. I'm a happy camper. Many more photos to come...

Joining in on Jodi's 52 project.

differences

Coming home after spending so long overseas brings up such a mix of emotions. It also gives you a very unique perspective on the place where you grew up.

It reminds me of the old joke about fish. One fish asks another fish, "how's the water?" The other fish replies, "what's water?"

We take so much of our experience for granted, and assume that what surrounds us is normal. It's what I love about traveling - it opens our eyes and gives us new perspectives. Moving to Australia, a country which many people see as similar to Canada, has changed me more than I can say. It's hard to imagine who I would be if I hadn't spent the last 4 years of my life there.

So, back to the fish. Here are, in point form, some of the differences I am noticing between Sydney and Vancouver.

* Canadians really do have a strong accent!

* People drive very big cars here. Huge.

* The streets in Vancouver are so straight, and so big.

* Vancouverites are a friendly bunch.

* Pennies are ridiculous.

* Fridges and ovens here are enormous compared to their Australian counterparts.

* Sales tax that isn't included in the price is a bummer. Seriously. In Sydney, the price you see is the price you pay. None of this, "surprise, add an extra 12%" nonsense!

* Tipping makes eating out crazy expensive (Aussies don't tip, for the most part, because employees are paid a fair wage).

* It's really cold here. Even when it's sunny.

* Vancouverites like their fleece and gortex :)

* Driving on the right side of the road is hard.

* People here treat every sunny day as if it were their last. It's really nice. Being a product of my city, I also tend to have a pathological fear of wasting a sunny day, which is pretty funny when I'm in Sydney.

* There are a lot of cyclists here and a lot of bike lanes, it's great!

* While people in Vancouver pull out their shorts as soon as the thermostat hits 15 degrees, Aussies bust out their beanies and scarves as soon as the temperature drops to 20 degrees.

* I could be wrong, but I think there are more dogs here.

* The mountains. Oh the mountains... They take my breath away. I have missed the mountains more than I can say.

p.s. My last weekend in Vancouver begins today! Ah, where has the time gone?

me as a kid

Whenever I come home, I always end up pulling out all of our old photo albums and spending hours poring over their pages. Last week I asked my mom to scan some of them so I could have digital copies, which is how I was able to post some of my baby photos.

Today, I wanted to share a few of my childhood photos, mostly from our time in Canada. Have a look...

I was so blond!

Isn't my mom's dress so cool? I wish she had saved it!

Ok, this photo really cracks me up! I think it illustrates pretty perfectly how I felt about my position as only child being usurped by the arrival of my little brother. It's ok though, we like each other now :)

Fast forwarding a bit here, this is me at prom. This scan didn't work that well though, hence the weird mark under my nose.